Reunited and it feels so... old

SO IT WAS REVEALED THIS WEEK THAT ORIGINAL MEMBERS OF BLACK SABBATH WILL BE ANNOUNCING A NEW ALBUM AND REUNION TOUR IN THE COMING DAYS, AND IT MADE ME WONDER... SURE, WE ALL WANT TO SEE THE BAND GET BACK TOGETHER, PLAY SOME SHOWS, RELIVE THE PAST, ETC....

BUT THIS AIN'T THE MOVIE "COCOON" WITH DON AMECHE AND WILFRED BRIMLEY FINDING A MAGIC SWIMMING POOL THAT TRANSFORMS THEIR FRAIL OLD BODIES INTO JUST-LIKE-NEW 2.0 VERSIONS.  I MEAN, THE SABBATH GUYS ARE OLD. LIKE, TOO OLD TO PULL IT OFF  OLD. I LOVE OZZY, HE'S A FREAKIN' NATIONAL TREASURE, BUT THERE'S A SENSE OF FRAILTY AND WEAKNESS TO HIS ON STAGE PERSONA AT THIS POINT. 

AT THE SAME TIME, WE DEMAND THIS KIND OF STUFF AS FANS. PART OF THE ATTRACTION IS THAT AN ACTUAL REUNION COULD NEVER HAPPEN. WELL, THIS LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHERE WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CAREFUL WHAT WE ASKED FOR. IS IT REALISTIC TO EXPECT ANYTHING BEYOND A BUNCH OF GUYS SHUFFLING AROUND TRYING NOT TO THROW SOMETHING OUT, OR HERNIATE A DISC? 


THE WHOLE "REUNION" CONCEPT IS FATALLY FLAWED. SUCH TOURS ARE ONLY MOTIVATED BY A DESIRE TO MAKE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY, THUS MAKING TICKETS UNOBTAINABLE FOR THE LIONS SHARE OF FANS. SECONDLY, THE BANDS CAN NEVER BE EXPECTED TO RECAPTURE THE SOUND OF THEIR PRIME YEARS, SO YOU'RE SHELLING OUT TOP DOLLAR FOR A SUB-PAR SHOW AT BEST. THIRDLY, AS WAS THE CASE IN THE REUNION TOUR THE POLICE STAGED A FEW YEARS BACK, JUST BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL MEMBERS ARE PHYSICALLY ON STAGE DOESN'T MAGICALLY MAKE THEM A BAND AGAIN. STING, MOE, AND CURLY BARELY MOVED, SPOKE, OR ACKNOWLEDGED THE AUDIENCE DURING THAT TOUR, ACCORDING TO THOSE WHO WENT OUT TO CAPTURE THE MAGIC. 


EVEN THE BANDS THAT CONCEIVABLY COULD  MOUNT A TOUR TOGETHER SHOULDN'T YIELD TO PUBLIC PRESSURE. TAKE GUNS 'N ROSES. THEY'RE ALL STILL PERFORMING AS INDIE ACTS, AND DOING QUITE WELL AT IT. EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE THE STAMINA TO REGROUP AND GET THE ORIGINAL LINE-UP TOGETHER AT SOME POINT, THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT A GOOD IDEA. IT'S LIKE COUPLES WHO HATE EACH OTHER BUT STAY TOGETHER FOR APPEARANCES SAKE, OR FOR THEIR CHILDREN. YOU BUY A TICKET TO A GUNS 'N ROSES REUNION SHOW, YOU ARE PAYING TO FEEL TWO HOURS OF TENSION THAT WOULD MAKE A DOG HIDE UNDER HIS FRONT PORCH. 


LET'S GET OFF THE "REUNION TOUR" CRACK PIPE. BANDS BREAK UP FOR A REASON. LET'S ENJOY THE SOLO SHOWS FROM SLASH, OR THE SUPER GROUPS LIKE CHICKENFOOT. THERE'S NO BETTER SHOW THAN ONE DONE BY A BAND THAT LOVES WHAT THEY'RE DOING ON STAGE. OTHERWISE, PLAN ON FACING THE COLD HARD REALITY WE SEE EVERY TIME SOME CHICK CRAMS HERSELF INTO A PUSH-EM-UP BRA FOR THAT 40TH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REMINISCING ABOUT THE BEST DAYS OF AN ERA, AND PAYING THEM A GRAVE DISSERVICE BY TRYING TO REENACT THEM. 


GLOB YA LATER.